For the Love of Clever Words

A spasmodic collection of wrath, idiocy, and caustic attempts at humor.

britneysbaldhead:

"tell the class a little about yourself"

image

(via theaadventureye)

snapchatting:

babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it

(via alexgasbutt)

Anonymous said: Shut the fuck up about 50 shades of grey. No one fucking cares

myheartbelongstoabarricadeboy:

winchesterinengland:

oh hun

let me just give you a quick run down of all the things wrong with this ask:

1-you assume i care what some asshole anon has to say when i have 300 pounds and i’m going kikass birthday shopping today

2-you assume id care about some asshole anon any other day of the year

3-i care about the 50 shades of grey thing. and whether you do or not is irrelevant to me because you are, after all, just an asshole anon

4- this is my blog and i’ll post whatever the fuck i want, if you cant take three fucking posts about something without turning into a soggy cum stained dishrag then i suggest you make use of that unfollow button because youre gross

5- lemme break this down for you

if you dont care about this 50 shades situation, you need to grow the fuck up and look at the facts

the fact is the book was so misinformed that all the practises about bdsm culture were ignored and shit all over.

he ignores the safeword

he legitimately rapes her

he never explains everything about bdsm culture to her, shes so misinformed its ridiculous

and all of this is going even more public than it already has and its being romanticised and released on valentines day 

like “happy valentines honey! i bought some ropes i dont actually know how to tie and a whip i dont actually know how to use and i’m going to just gloss over the fact you’re uncomfortable because that clearly doesnt matter!”

incorrect use of a whip can cause organ failure

incorrect knots used on wristst or feet can literally cause them to need to be amputated

its perpetuating rape culture in ways ive never seen it be advanced to this leve; and if you dont care then youre truly disgusting 

you dont care about the kids not fully understanding their sexuality being abused by older people who they think are totally allowed to do this shit?

you dont care about the people that will be raped because of this because hey apparently rape is sexy?

you dont care about the fact that the bdsm culture is, once again, being portrayed as people who are fucked up and must have been abused to be that way rather than normal people who enjoy a kink in their own homes?

you dont care about the fact that youre not supposed to bleed on your first time. ever. and now tons more girls are going to think that its completely normal? that tons more guys will? that tons of people are going to think its expected for the female to bleed when SHE WONT IF SHES BEEN SUFFICIENTLY TURNED ON AND STRETCHED ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD

you dont care about the stereotype of subs not actually enjoying bdsm culture is being widespread? that all subs dislike it and simply have an ulterior motive?

you dont care about the underlying message of the book being “a woman should give everything, including herself, to a man”?

you dont care about all the people in abusive relationships that will think “oh well this must be normal then” and stay there?

christian grey is a run-of-the-mill abusive boyfriend. he isnt a dom. 

a dom loves his/her sub completely and the motto of bdsm is "safe, willing and sane" (or something like that anyone feel free to correct me)

it means that both partners have to be completely willing, with boundaries, safewords and everything worked out before they even think about touching eachother intimately. 

if something is a boundary, you dont fucking do it

that simple

if the safeword is used it stops. everything stops

that simple

a dom should treat his sub like a goddamn princess (unless they have prearranged and understand that he wont eg-pet play, slave play where anything outside of the bedroom is also in the same dynamic HOWEVER IT IS STILL CONSENSUAL SO IT IS STILL OKAY)

a dom is not christian grey

but millions of people are going to think he is and are going to think that thats the way bdsm should be and they’ll get involved in something very dangerous if they dont have the real facts.

that people will think its romantic because this shit is scheduled for valentines day  to treat your partner like shit, abuse her, and that what? getting them off absorbs you of all your shit? no. this is so fucking gross and im not taking a backseat when this shit happens

so in conclusion

literally fuck you, you insensitive fuck stain, this issue is so fucking important.

Important

fauxboy:

starshinethecat1:

xxgoldie12xx:

the-winchesters-in-221b:

2ollux-2hip2-2tuff:

davespritedave:

hoechlolly:

tehwhovianhufflepuff:

imagine-tenthousand:


mockinggrass:


Go big or go home 


So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.
In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.



So I decided to try it

alrighty, let’s go one more step





i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY


Story of my life


that’s a first.

I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC

I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one

fauxboy:

starshinethecat1:

xxgoldie12xx:

the-winchesters-in-221b:

2ollux-2hip2-2tuff:

davespritedave:

hoechlolly:

tehwhovianhufflepuff:

imagine-tenthousand:

mockinggrass:

Go big or go home 

So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.

In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.

image

So I decided to try it

image

alrighty, let’s go one more step

image

image

image

i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.

image

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY

image

Story of my life

image

that’s a first.

I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC

I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one

(via olmneely)

sleepingnoone:

when u have a thing to tell friend but friend dont care

image

(Source: feuillyeponine, via roaras-nonsense)

princess-caboose:

mrdecraprio:

excuse you

wHO DID THIS.

(via roaras-nonsense)

cryptidsandoddities:

Clouds are weird yo.

[C L O U D G A S M. I N T E N S I F I E S. ]

(Source: luvgaymodels, via roaras-inspirations)

sodaflow:

trust-canada:

blfreakworld:

ladymalchav:

theillumina-tea:

the struggle


#you all are ignoring that is probably a witch or wizard



resolved question

#themugglestruggle

roaras-nonsense:

officalsquidward:

totally-not-superboy:

smallpox:

instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant

Are you a U.S. senator?

If you have sex with the lights off, the sperm won’t know where to go! And you won’t get pregnant

are you a U.S. senator

Oh shit I just remembered I have a partial scholarship.

blimeygames:

mistercococat:

coco! what do your cat eyes see?

ALL.

blimeygames:

mistercococat:

coco! what do your cat eyes see?

ALL.

(via vaginapowersactivate)

The tumblr mobile app. Or as I like to call it, “where the fuck did the wifi go?”

lensblr-network:

Embryo
by Sebastian-Alexander Stamatis  (phoenixstamatis.tumblr.com)
perspicious:


WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:    Stay with us and keep calm.The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
Move us to a quiet place.We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.As odd as it sounds, it works.


                                                                                                                 


WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”2. Say, “Calm down.”This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.



CREDIT [X]  [X]

perspicious:

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
    
  1. Stay with us and keep calm.
    The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.

  2. Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
    You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.

  3. Move us to a quiet place.
    We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.

  4. Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
    We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.

  5. Speak to us in short, simple sentences.

  6. Be predictable. Avoid surprises.

  7. Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
    As odd as it sounds, it works.
                                                                                                                 
WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:

1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.

Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.

Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”


2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.

Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.

Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.


3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.

Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.


4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.

The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.

Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.


CREDIT [X]  [X]

(via adena-k)

twippyfan:

Ivory and Pearl gripped pistols. Heavily engraved. Luger, Mauser, Colt

twippyfan:

Ivory and Pearl gripped pistols. Heavily engraved. Luger, Mauser, Colt

(via gaaaaaaaaaambit)