For the Love of Clever Words

A spasmodic collection of wrath, idiocy, and caustic attempts at humor.


by Jimmy Doesn’t Hate Jazz
neptunain:

how to communicate in a relationship

neptunain:

how to communicate in a relationship

(via seeyoubleed)

seanbeanisaredshirt:

harokissmile:

ksteeno:

spoookyscary:

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.
The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.
The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.
Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.
Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”
When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.
Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

what did i just read

Irish women are strong as fuck

I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal

seanbeanisaredshirt:

harokissmile:

ksteeno:

spoookyscary:

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.

The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.

The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.

Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.

Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”

When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.

Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

what did i just read

Irish women are strong as fuck

I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal

(via princelesscomic)

[AGGRESSIVELY CARES FOR YOU FROM A DISTANCE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER]

(Source: purplesquadtylercarter, via lavernecoks)

thegoodlannister:

a game of where the fuck did you get that character interpretation

(via thefreshprinceof-denmark)

alternativeblackgirl:

jatel0:

For The Masses:
http://gen.lib.rus.ec
http://textbooknova.com
http://en.bookfi.org/
http://www.gutenberg.org
http://ebookee.org
http://www.manybooks.net
http://www.giuciao.com
http://www.feedurbrain.com
http://oll.libertyfund.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=380
http://www.alleng.ru/ 
http://www.eknigu.com/ 
http://ishare.iask.sina.com.cn/
http://2020ok.com/
http://www.freebookspot.es/Default.aspx
http://www.freeetextbooks.com/
http://onebigtorrent.org/
http://www.downeu.me/ebook/
http://forums.mvgroup.org
http://theaudiobookbay.com/
More Here

Reblog to save a life.

iamsmallcat:

the last one killed me

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via lavernecoks)

cauc-asianpersuasion:

pomegranateandivy:

“The story about where volcanoes come from” 

This is the most beautiful story I’ve ever read about the creation of volcanoes 

melanieforsure

(via ottit)

cross-connect:

Artist on tumblr - @Caitlin Hackett is an illustrator and creature concept designer based out of Oakland CA.

I create work that reflects both my passion for the natural world, and my sorrow over its destruction. I am fascinated by the fragile boundary that separates humans from animals, and the way that boundary is transformed and illuminated in mythology, religious symbolism and fairy tales alike throughout different cultures around the world. I have art available for sale at www.caitlinhackett.storenvy.com

                                                  :-)

(Source: cross-connect.cc)

homwrecker:

sorcererinslytherin:

homwrecker:

this mother fucker is the voice of nemo

image

shit i think i want to fuck nemo

this little fucker goes to my college— I’ve met him. To make matter worse, he’s sweet and shy. And hates it when people whisper “fish are friends, not food” around him. 

oh my god

(via lavernecoks)

ohkaydear:

no but imagine the rawness of slytherin feminists

(via lavernecoks)

deadlyliv:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

maxfuckingbemis:

she’s 23 and she didn’t know she had a vagina until 5 days ago

This is why we don’t do close readings of 50 Shades of Grey.

omg before i read the caption i thought this was just a horribly written fanfic
oh wait

deadlyliv:

afternoonsnoozebutton:

maxfuckingbemis:

she’s 23 and she didn’t know she had a vagina until 5 days ago

This is why we don’t do close readings of 50 Shades of Grey.

omg before i read the caption i thought this was just a horribly written fanfic

oh wait

(Source: lackadaisicalify, via sunflowerhippi)

kinkyturtle:

avri-wallflower:

sourcedumal:

Fuck special snowflakes who think like this.
Gurl bye
Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup.
You’re not fucking better than the woman with large breasts who wears tank tops.
You’re a piece of shit because you are putting sexist stereotypes onto other women in some anti-feminine bullshit.

If you don’t like it, why’d you comment on it? I think it’s awesome and you’re probably one of the girls up there that wears makeup and shortshorts and tiny tanktops. And most kids today wear makeup because they think they aren’t pretty and need it. So deal with it. And get over yourself.

girl bye.
lemme tell you something: I wear tons of fucking make up. I wear short dresses. I walk around with a face that looks about as fake as it can get outside of a fucking barbie doll. and I like it that way. and, despite what you seem to think, no, it’s not because i think i’m ugly. i just fucking like makeup (and trust, i’ve spent years examining my own motivations and how they’re tied to internalized self-hated, fatphobia and misogyny so don’t EVEN cause you don’t know what you’re talking about).
I also read ravenously; engage in discourse regarding philosphy, art, economics, politics, race, gender, sexuality; make subversive art; and love comics and film and music. I’M A FUCKING PERSON IS WHAT I’M SAYING. 
like how fucking deep is this goddamn image when the spine of the book JUST SAYS THE WORD ‘BOOK’.
this kind of bullshit narrative, other than furthering a misogynistic dichotomy that pits women against each other, is also a complete fucking fallacy. A huge majority of average women DON’T DO THIS. you aren’t the lone plain jane in an army of cake-faced, bottle blonde barbies—if you look around, you’ll see that most women just throw on jeans and tops and very little makeup. 
I get that this kind of shit is an attempt to fight back against media-made images of what womanhood is supposed to be. I get it. (thought isn’t it interesting that the “weirdo” in the picture is still thin and conventionally attractive??)
but attacking other women who you perceive as being stupid or carbon copies because of their fucking appearance doesn’t fight back against shit. it actually does EXACTLY what the patriarchy wants us to do—engenders more hatred and competition between women. 
but you know, whatever, continue to think you’re so goddamn special. i’ll be over here reading AND wearing hot pink lipstick and having a hell of a time doing it. 

kinkyturtle:

avri-wallflower:

sourcedumal:

Fuck special snowflakes who think like this.

Gurl bye

Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup.

You’re not fucking better than the woman with large breasts who wears tank tops.

You’re a piece of shit because you are putting sexist stereotypes onto other women in some anti-feminine bullshit.

If you don’t like it, why’d you comment on it? I think it’s awesome and you’re probably one of the girls up there that wears makeup and shortshorts and tiny tanktops. And most kids today wear makeup because they think they aren’t pretty and need it. So deal with it. And get over yourself.

girl bye.

lemme tell you something: I wear tons of fucking make up. I wear short dresses. I walk around with a face that looks about as fake as it can get outside of a fucking barbie doll. and I like it that way. and, despite what you seem to think, no, it’s not because i think i’m ugly. i just fucking like makeup (and trust, i’ve spent years examining my own motivations and how they’re tied to internalized self-hated, fatphobia and misogyny so don’t EVEN cause you don’t know what you’re talking about).

I also read ravenously; engage in discourse regarding philosphy, art, economics, politics, race, gender, sexuality; make subversive art; and love comics and film and music. I’M A FUCKING PERSON IS WHAT I’M SAYING. 

like how fucking deep is this goddamn image when the spine of the book JUST SAYS THE WORD ‘BOOK’.

this kind of bullshit narrative, other than furthering a misogynistic dichotomy that pits women against each other, is also a complete fucking fallacy. A huge majority of average women DON’T DO THIS. you aren’t the lone plain jane in an army of cake-faced, bottle blonde barbies—if you look around, you’ll see that most women just throw on jeans and tops and very little makeup. 

I get that this kind of shit is an attempt to fight back against media-made images of what womanhood is supposed to be. I get it. (thought isn’t it interesting that the “weirdo” in the picture is still thin and conventionally attractive??)

but attacking other women who you perceive as being stupid or carbon copies because of their fucking appearance doesn’t fight back against shit. it actually does EXACTLY what the patriarchy wants us to do—engenders more hatred and competition between women. 

but you know, whatever, continue to think you’re so goddamn special. i’ll be over here reading AND wearing hot pink lipstick and having a hell of a time doing it. 

(via lavernecoks)